P.A.P.D.
"There is a land called Passive Aggressiva, and you are its queen."
- Derek to Addison, Grey's Anatomy
Grey's has introduced us to the king and queen of passive aggressiveness. Although I've heard the term before, I've never actually used it because I was never quite sure of what it means. So after Addison admitted that she is indeed the queen of Passive Aggressiva, I googled the condition (as I'm sure thousands of other fans did after that episode)so as to better understand what they were talking about and maybe start calling people P.A. Haha. TV can be very educational, or at least push us into self-learning.
Anyways, I read up on Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder and realized that we Filipinos, as a people, suffer from it. I am no exception. While I have had a few shining moments when I got so fed up with certain people that I told them exactly what I think of them to their faces... these instances do not come along nearly as often as they should. Or as often as people deserve to hear the truth.
I don't know why I'm like this. I guess you could blame it on a number of factors, but I suspect that I've become this way because our culture not only allows but encourages us to be passive aggressive.
Why do we put such a premium on so-called Smooth Interpersonal Relationships? Heck... who are we kidding by saying that avoiding confrontation leads to better relationships? Why can't we speak our minds instead of repressing our irritation, resentment, or even worse, anger? Who taught us to be this way? Certainly not the Americans... was it the Spanish? Or are we Filipinos just innately P.A.? We must be if it took our ancestors over 300 years to get their acts together, right? Our passive aggressiveness is in our modern history as well... and it seems to be manifesting itself right now, as we allow someone we all strongly suspect is irrationally power-hungry and corrupt to continue ruling.
The rant above is actually another sign that Addison is my queen. I'm passing the buck. I'm blaming my heritage when I should be looking at myself and figuring out how to get my act together. I do know that overcoming this habit of passively dealing with what enrages us on the inside will have its repercussions. The truth hurts and some people will hate you for serving it to them straight up. But there comes a point when you realize that this chronic aversion to telling it like it is serves no one. I'm not saying we should make tomorrow "Confront Your Worst Enemy Day." I'm merely suggesting that we allow the truth, however ugly it may be, to set us free.
- Derek to Addison, Grey's Anatomy
Grey's has introduced us to the king and queen of passive aggressiveness. Although I've heard the term before, I've never actually used it because I was never quite sure of what it means. So after Addison admitted that she is indeed the queen of Passive Aggressiva, I googled the condition (as I'm sure thousands of other fans did after that episode)so as to better understand what they were talking about and maybe start calling people P.A. Haha. TV can be very educational, or at least push us into self-learning.
Anyways, I read up on Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder and realized that we Filipinos, as a people, suffer from it. I am no exception. While I have had a few shining moments when I got so fed up with certain people that I told them exactly what I think of them to their faces... these instances do not come along nearly as often as they should. Or as often as people deserve to hear the truth.
I don't know why I'm like this. I guess you could blame it on a number of factors, but I suspect that I've become this way because our culture not only allows but encourages us to be passive aggressive.
Why do we put such a premium on so-called Smooth Interpersonal Relationships? Heck... who are we kidding by saying that avoiding confrontation leads to better relationships? Why can't we speak our minds instead of repressing our irritation, resentment, or even worse, anger? Who taught us to be this way? Certainly not the Americans... was it the Spanish? Or are we Filipinos just innately P.A.? We must be if it took our ancestors over 300 years to get their acts together, right? Our passive aggressiveness is in our modern history as well... and it seems to be manifesting itself right now, as we allow someone we all strongly suspect is irrationally power-hungry and corrupt to continue ruling.
The rant above is actually another sign that Addison is my queen. I'm passing the buck. I'm blaming my heritage when I should be looking at myself and figuring out how to get my act together. I do know that overcoming this habit of passively dealing with what enrages us on the inside will have its repercussions. The truth hurts and some people will hate you for serving it to them straight up. But there comes a point when you realize that this chronic aversion to telling it like it is serves no one. I'm not saying we should make tomorrow "Confront Your Worst Enemy Day." I'm merely suggesting that we allow the truth, however ugly it may be, to set us free.
posted by gloriagiselle at 1:23 AM
2 Comments:
I agree with you. Our culture definitely encourages passive aggresiveness. Why is it proper to refuse an invitation to a meal at least three times before finally saying yes, even when you want to eat in the first place? Why is shyness a more desireable trait? Why is it bad to be a go-getter? Why do people call you "mayabang" when you promote yourself, however deserving you may be?
And maybe we have identity issues as well. We don't know who we are. We can't promote ourselves, step up to the plate, if we don't know who we are. We're chameleons. We blend in wherever we go. We don't like being different. We always go for what's "uso." If a particular style of pants is "in" we all wear it, doesn't matter that some people just don't look good in it.
We don't like to tell people off because we don't like making waves. We're too afraid to take risks.
And that's my 2 cents for today.
Leese
http://leese.squarespace.com
Leese, the reference to politely refusing to be fed made me laugh because I'd given up on that long ago. When I'm hungry and am offered food, I say "Pasensya na ha... Hindi ako tatanggi kasi gutom na talaga ako!" (translates: I don't mean to be rude but I'm not going to refuse your offer 'cause I'm really hungry) Nobody seems to mind. In fact, I even sense some relief on the part of the host/hostess because I don't play hard to get! *lol*
I also agree with the identity issue, which is why I'm a big fan of building a sense of national identity. Hopefully it will be one that doesn't extol the virtues passive aggressiveness ;)
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