More on Passive Aggressiveness
Pardon my fixation but I've just been finding it increasingly hard to deal with the passive aggressiveness of some people I have to deal with on a regular basis. Ever since I learned about the disorder, I can't stop noticing it.
So many times we hear people say "If you have a problem, tell it to my face," but very few people can actually do that here in this blessed country I call home. Don't get me wrong... I don't think Filipinos should become bastos (rude) all of a sudden. I believe it is possible to be frank within the confines of common decency. What irks me so much is the fact that while people are perfectly capable of speaking their minds, they can never seem to do so in a setting where it can be channeled into something constructive. Too many Filipinos have put their own spin on the old saying "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." What they do is not say anything at all... TO YOUR FACE... but then take all the nasty things they have to say about you to everyone BUT you. Sound familiar?
Tonight I realized that in some people, this behavior is unalterable. They will most likely live their entire lives without ever directly confronting anyone and stabbing people in the back instead. After giving a little to thought to what you can compare asking some people to give up backbiting, I've come up with this:
Asking some Filipinos to give up backbiting is like asking them to give up.... TEXTING!
Allow me to explain. Both behaviors are:
1) Learned.
2) Habitual.
3) Widely practiced...
... and therefore, to a degree 4) Socially acceptable.
And for those who are addicted to both, 5) Integral to one's sanity.
It is interesting to note that backbiting is often carried out through SMS. If you ask a serial texter/backbiter to stop texting, backbiting, and backbiting through text, you might as well ask him/her to give up food and water.
Haha. Oo, galit ako. And I have every right to be. Thankfully, I have enough sense to realize that there is little I can do to change behavior so deeply ingrained into a person's psyche. I have no control over other people's topak. But I do have control over how I choose to deal with it. Hopefully I figure out how soon. :)
So many times we hear people say "If you have a problem, tell it to my face," but very few people can actually do that here in this blessed country I call home. Don't get me wrong... I don't think Filipinos should become bastos (rude) all of a sudden. I believe it is possible to be frank within the confines of common decency. What irks me so much is the fact that while people are perfectly capable of speaking their minds, they can never seem to do so in a setting where it can be channeled into something constructive. Too many Filipinos have put their own spin on the old saying "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." What they do is not say anything at all... TO YOUR FACE... but then take all the nasty things they have to say about you to everyone BUT you. Sound familiar?
Tonight I realized that in some people, this behavior is unalterable. They will most likely live their entire lives without ever directly confronting anyone and stabbing people in the back instead. After giving a little to thought to what you can compare asking some people to give up backbiting, I've come up with this:
Asking some Filipinos to give up backbiting is like asking them to give up.... TEXTING!
Allow me to explain. Both behaviors are:
1) Learned.
2) Habitual.
3) Widely practiced...
... and therefore, to a degree 4) Socially acceptable.
And for those who are addicted to both, 5) Integral to one's sanity.
It is interesting to note that backbiting is often carried out through SMS. If you ask a serial texter/backbiter to stop texting, backbiting, and backbiting through text, you might as well ask him/her to give up food and water.
Haha. Oo, galit ako. And I have every right to be. Thankfully, I have enough sense to realize that there is little I can do to change behavior so deeply ingrained into a person's psyche. I have no control over other people's topak. But I do have control over how I choose to deal with it. Hopefully I figure out how soon. :)
posted by gloriagiselle at 12:35 AM
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